


Potential Song Title

by pearlcaddy



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Luke POV, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26763640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearlcaddy/pseuds/pearlcaddy
Summary: He’d only ever figured out his feelings by writing songs. He thought and felt in melodies, lyrics, harmonies, and song titles. And as it turned out, it was hard to write a song about whether or not he liked a girl when his writing partner was said girl.He needed music in order to understand how he felt, and in this case, music was… complicated.Luke's POV for the last three episodes of season one.
Relationships: Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 58
Kudos: 556





	Potential Song Title

To be honest, Luke should have seen this coming. Maybe from the moment he first heard Julie sing. Perhaps from the moment he stepped through her in her kitchen and, in the words of Reggie, felt her “kind heart.” Possibly from the moment they shared the mic at the Eats & Beats gig. Probably from the moment his instinctive reaction to Nick’s inept flirting had been to mock the guy. But definitely, unquestionably, he should have figured out that he liked Julie when Alex and Reggie _told him to his face that he did._

He’d like to think that the delay was because he knew better than to have feelings for a lifer. Or because spending twenty-five years trapped in a weird dark room with a crying Alex had made him feelings-averse. But the reality was that he’d only ever figured out his feelings by writing songs. He thought and felt in melodies, lyrics, harmonies, and song titles. And as it turned out, it was hard to write a song about whether or not he liked a girl when his writing partner was said girl. (Maybe he should write a song about how awkward that would be. Potential song title: Worse than the Crying Room.)

He needed music in order to understand how he felt, and in this case, music was… complicated.

So really, it was completely logical that the moment he actually figured it out was at the house party when she snubbed him during “Great.”

They hadn’t strictly planned their staging for this gig, but Julie tended to follow certain patterns in her movements. She sang to Reggie, she turned to Alex on the drum riser, and then she joined Luke to sing the most impactful moments of their songs. Even without that pattern, they all fed organically off of each other’s cues. If someone moved towards you or welcomed you, you joined them. It was basic courtesy to follow the improv rule of “yes, and…” and build off of what everyone else on stage was doing.

The first time she snubbed him, it _could_ have been a mistake. Maybe she turned away from Alex too quickly and didn’t see Luke approaching. (But also, why would she only interact with two of her bandmates and not even make eye contact with the third?) So he tried again, giving her a clear nod to join him for their duet.

She shot him a look he couldn’t decipher. Not only did she not move towards him, but she pointedly kept her gaze averted and danced further away from him.

Um….

Excuse?

What happened to “yes, and”??

(Potential song title: How Dare You Not Stare)

Maybe he was making too big a deal of it? It wasn’t like they shared a mic and stared into each other’s eyes every time they performed. But when Reggie came over to play with Luke, he brought one of those amazingly communicative Reggie expressions that somehow managed to convey an entire conversation with a look: “dude, what’s going on?” “I don’t know.” “Why is she snubbing you?” “It’s not just me, then? She _is_ snubbing me.” “Are you two okay?” So Luke wasn’t the only one who had noticed.

But Reggie’s expression was more casual than Luke’s felt. A “that’s weird, haha” in contrast to a gut punch. Why did it matter where she stood or who she sang with? It was weird, sure, and a bit rude, but they were performing so well regardless. He just… hadn’t realized how much he enjoyed the moments when they shared a mic and sang to each other, or how central he felt those moments were to performing with Julie. 

She sat on the piano, swaying and singing with abandon. “Be who you are / don’t compromise” indeed. She was so in her element: maintaining perfect vocal control, owning the stage, keeping everyone’s attention. He hadn’t thought he would ever meet anyone as passionate about music and performing as him, and yet here she was. So overwhelmingly powerful and such a perfect complement to the band and to him that it made his heart—

Oh. It wasn’t a gut punch he was feeling. It was a heart punch.

Oh.

Ohh.

Suddenly, he needed her to look at him, to confirm his feelings and to check hers. As she began singing the end of the bridge, he stepped tentatively towards her with his guitar solo. She wouldn’t snub him when they were the only two performing, would she?

He was really not prepared for the smile she unleashed when she met his gaze, a smile that felt more powerful than her usual smiles, more personal, more private. An unapologetically dopey smile spread across his own face in response. For the first time since he’d died, he forgot that he was a ghost or that his songs had been stolen or that he would never reconcile with his parents. He forgot everything except that he was a seventeen-year-old boy and the girl he liked was smiling at him in a way he hadn’t seen her smile at anyone else. He couldn’t convince himself to break eye contact or move away until she stood up to belt out the final chorus.

(Potential song title: Oh Fuck, I’m In Love)

The plan had been for all the guys to poof out together, leaving Julie to finish the outro by herself. But that smile, and these feelings, and the thrill of this performance, and—damn it, he worked out his feelings with music and he wouldn’t apologize for it.

He slid onto the piano bench beside her, joining his voice to hers before he could disappear. If their faces were extremely close together right now, well, it was a tiny bench and he was rushed, none of this was planned, okay? It was a perfectly innocent extremely close proximity. Ever the professional, Julie quickly recovered from her surprise and did exactly what this kind of outro required: she kept her eyes on his and a soft expression on her face that made the moment feel far more private than it had any right to given their audience. (His gaze may have slipped to her lips a couple times—look, no one was debating who was the better performer here but also what the hell are you supposed to do with your face when it’s that damn close to the face of the person you like and she’s looking at you like that?)

When the song came to a close, he had never been more grateful for his ghost privilege. They would never need to decide when to move further apart or deal with any awkward aftermath or talk about what had happened: he poofed away as soon as they stopped singing (potential song title: Luke the Cowardly Ghost.) What happens onstage stays onstage.

* * *

But of course, that’s not how feelings work, and so Luke found himself on Julie’s porch the next day, raw from her encounter with his parents, unable to hold her hand. The silver lining was the way she instantly turned away from him, her smile tense and her little bounce awkward. How frustrated she was with the reminder that they couldn’t hold hands. He wasn’t alone in this, was he?

Even though he knew he shouldn’t, even though there was no possible future between a cursed incorporeal ghost and a lifer, he couldn’t help but test the waters. “This is an interesting little relationship you and I have.” Leave it to her to decide what “interesting,” “little,” and “relationship” meant.

Her smile didn’t tell him much about what she was thinking, but it also did. There was something about it that accepted their reality while also not denying their feelings (or maybe he was projecting his own feelings or their recent _Pushing Daisies_ marathon onto her vague facial expression). He couldn’t decide whether it was better or worse that they were probably on the same page feeling the same feelings. If those feelings were futile anyways, wouldn’t it be better if they were unrequited? If something was impossible, let it be fully impossible.

The same thoughts ran through his head the next day, as Julie stood unfairly close to him asking him to give her mother a message when he crossed over. Here he was, wanting desperately to say goodbye to her with a kiss or a hug or, god, even a handshake, and instead he had to pivot to a band circle that she couldn’t even fully participate in. If she wasn’t interested in him, he could have set his feelings aside until they expired. Instead, he had to look at his feelings duplicated all over her face and know that, if only a thousand things were different, he’d be able to close the gap between them.

Apparently he’d figured out what “interesting little relationship” meant (potential song title: The Best Torture of My Life.)

* * *

At least, until the Orpheum gig. Was he in excruciating physical pain? Yes. Was he in excruciating emotional pain? Oh yeah. But how could he share a mic with Julie and dance around the Orpheum stage (the Orpheum!) with her to thunderous applause and view any part of their interesting little relationship as torture? Maybe the emotional, magical, and musical power of everything that had happened to them had happened _because_ they were star-crossed. How could he regret any part of that?

So it was an easy decision to poof back to the studio and fake crossing over. Or it was, until Julie discovered them and started crying and pleading with them to just work for Caleb. As it turns out, easy decisions became harder when the person you love is begging you to make a different choice.

But when he said, “no regrets,” he did mean it. Until she hugged him.

Granted, he didn’t immediately notice that she was hugging him. The fact that she couldn’t hug him had always seemed like an egregious, unnatural mistake of the universe, on par with deadly street hot dogs and Trevor Wilson, so the hug seemed so natural and normal that no one clocked the change at first. He was honestly more focused on the possible meanings of “I love you guys.” It was only when he began to _fucking glow_ that he realized something unusual had just happened.

She pulled out of his arms (potential song title: Whyyy) and stared at him in disbelief. “How can I feel you?”

“I… I… I don’t know.”

They seemed to realize at the same time that “can feel” translated to “can touch.” She gasped and cradled his face, silencing his confusion and emotions for a moment. Her first response to realizing that she could touch him was decidedly non-platonic; even though he already knew their interesting little relationship was mutually felt, the confirmation still gave him an incomparable thrill. There could be no better feeling than her gentle fingers on his face and her soft jaw beneath his hands.

She gazed at him almost reverently, as if heartbroken from how happy she was, and moved her hands to his chest, confirming his solidness. He couldn’t help but gather her hands in his own, remembering how impossible the small gesture had been only yesterday.

There were so many feelings coursing through him that it took a moment to recognize the one that would have been the most important a minute ago: he felt better. More than better. Stronger. Later on, he would be glad that Julie stayed focused—calling their friends over and ensuring that they were healed. But in the moment, he regretted the loss of her touch. What if it never came back? How could he go back now that he knew what her hands felt like in his?

As the curse lifted, as Julie reminded them that they had played the Orpheum (the Orpheum!), as they took a moment to jump around and celebrate how many new and good things had happened in such a short span of time, he found himself itching for a pen to capture these feelings in song. Not to understand how he was feeling—there was so much joy and love boiling inside and around him that it would be impossible for even him to miss—but to capture the sheer exuberance and possibility of the moment.

He had no idea what came next, but he was eager for it.

(Potential song title: Something Good Happened in 2020???)

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr as [pearlcaddy](https://pearlcaddy.tumblr.com)!


End file.
